at this date, christmas is within the air! how past the days are! by april 2010, i'll be taking four years my stay here in manila.i'll be taking four years for struggling and fighting the life for my ambitions,plans and goals. life is really harder... for a poor like me. if you really do not have a determination,courage and faith, you cannot fight and stand alone with the hardship and difficulties that life has!
Im rene, a product of a broken family. I just thought, what will be I am if i grew up here in a city where almost of the youth and children are observed being influenced by the modern way of living, a modern way in which all of us are influenced to act inappropriately, behave rudeness even to parents....Im just thankful that it never happened to me. the word rebel and blame are also in my mind but i never allow them to control my emotion...
I was just five years old when our family broke. I grew up wid my religious grandparents in our province of northern samar. at my young age then, i already experienced hardship, all kind of hardship, hardship that is the same the most street children are always experiencing such as lack of nutrition or foods and most of all, lack of parents guidance and love. it was just happened the i did not prevail my pagrerebelde because of faith in God that my grandparents influenced us....I was already in my sixth year of my elmentary education when my mother stayed wid us, wid me and wid our youngest. my older brothers and sisters were already found of their own lives at that time. for me, my parents should be blame wid this...so hindi nia ako masisi when i almost became a blacksheep during my high school life. i rebel quietely but not in a way na sisirain ko ang pag aaral ko at mga pangarap ko sa buhay, no! I was second year high school when my father died. and my revelation is, i never felt anything that time and that was perhaps because i lived for many years widout him...nag asawa uli si mother at nasa lalaki nia ang lahat ng mga ugaling pinakaayaw ko sa isang tao. for my four years in high school, wala akong ibang naramdaman kundi poot at galit na humantong sa lihim kong pagrerebelde sa ina. I never talked wid her unless i need something from like money. I never shared wid her about what is happening to my schooling even sometimes i also want her to be proud of me....i was in fourth year high school when my ambition to spend my college here in manila became my wildest dream. what i want primarily at that time is to go apart wid them, makabukod o mkahwalay sa kanila. i never gave any consideration for my mother's request to spend my college just in our town, even there was a scholarship that will be provided for me. for my social life during that time, i can say that it did not satisfactorily worked out nang ayon sa talagang gusto ko. pero hindi ko yun pinagsisisihan because i realized now that social life can also harm your dreams, na pwedeng mkasira sa mga pangarap mo....
It was the last day of the month of march when our graduation took place.minadali ko non si mother to went here in manila. wala akong non ibang gusto kundi ang mkapa aral lang dito ng college, that even the financial status at titirhan ko ay hindi ko muna inisip, and the reason was, i will be wid my two sisters na nkatira sa tita namin which pinsan ng mother namin at barbecue ang ikinabubuhay. then it was april 11 2006 when we leaved from our barrio. i leaved at that time na disappointed at lumuluha hbang tumatakbo ang bus papuntang matnog, and it was because of my special friend. i leaved that day na hindi nakapag paalam sa mga kaibigan ko o tropang girls the night before our leaving. the reason was i was wid him, my special friend. i took that night in the neighbor of our barrio.we walked together for the first time and exchange some personal conversation. he was my first crush actually, when i was in grade two. then I just develped again my feelings for him when we were already in third year high school. i started making a letter wid him almost everyday, making projects and assignment for him....but before that i inlove madly wid my hondsome teacher during my first and second year in high school and just hardly end after he got married. regarding that bullshit feelings of mine, I never get disappointed to any guys to whom i admired because of my attitudes and because of being an intelligent student at that time....
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