christmas is within the air!

christmas for me when i was still a child is nothing. it is just an event or accassion that makes me happy because i have to receive free gifts and other from different people... and that was because I am just a product of a broken family. no parents and brothers and sisters that will be called.. but after few years and now, i realized how it is sad to have this occassion or holiday without a family or even friends.. I am fond to be alone most of the time. but i still enjoy with the company of an old friends or troops. so, how sad I am now this coming christmas for i will feel alone again after i knew that my mother and my youngest sister will not go to here from our province just like the few christmas years had passed..i dont know where to go and what to think..perhaps i'll be just hanging around with my elder sisters and brothers here in manila. but i am planning to have a sideline again at tita's barbecue business this coming our christmas vacation for me to provide income for myself.haaayz..life is really harder...sometimes it is really hard for me to think that i want to give up, that i want to stop fighting struggling for my life..coz feeling alone is still hard for me to cope until now....